Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 64 - Moonajuana

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Master Shake: Ooo, hey! I have bad glaucoma.
Frylock: So, go to the doctor.
Master Shake: I did. He said you should grow me some pot.
Frylock: Marijuana?
Master Shake: Whatever the kids are calling it these days, yeah sure. He just gave me these seeds. At the rat dog show.
Frylock: Shake, marijuana is illegal.
Master Shake: I won't tell on you; we're roomies, man. But if you don't grow it, I'm gonna tell on you.
Frylock: It doesn't make any sense.
Master Shake: Yeah it does.
Ignignokt: (Enters) Well we have vast fields and amber waves of marijuana on the moon.
Err: It's called moonajuana, boy!
Ignignokt: Shiz will fluff you up.
Err: I'm on it right now!
Ignignokt: And he loves it.

moonajuana1.mp3

Master Shake: See? These guys got it and they're not even afflicted with my crippling glaucoma!
Ignignokt: We have something worse..
Err: Butt cancer! Butt crack cancer!
Ignignokt: And yeast infections
Err: Yes!
Ignignokt: Yeast unleashed in the east.
Err: Check it!
Frylock: Those aren't diseases.
Ignignokt: Not anymore, Fryman.
Err: The moonajuana scared it out of existence.
Ignignokt: But we have other diseases we need to prevent.
Err: That's correct!
Ignignokt: So you know. Still got to smoke.

Master Shake: Oh come on, Frylock, please? You're gonna just sit there and let the diseases come to us? Or are you gonna be cool and let us smoke some sweet Mary Jane?
Ignignokt: Moony Jane.
Master Shake: Yeah, Mooning Jane.
Frylock: You can do what you want, as long as you keep it away from me and Meatwad.
Meatwad: I don't need that junk corruptin my mind. I need all my energy....for crack-cocaine!
Frylock: Meatwad!
Meatwad: Heh heh heh! That's what I'm into, hardcore crack! That's why my teeth are so bad.
Ignignokt: Well done. We are thought of highly by those without jobs.
Frylock: Oh well don't be surprised if I call the cops on your ass.

moonajuana2.mp3

Ignignokt: Fryman, we have hidden four grams of cocaine in your room.
Err: We did?
Ignignokt: No, we didn't do that, Err. But we would. And we will tell the pigs that when they arrive.
Err: Do the thing! The pigs will never find us!
Ignignokt: For we are thin lines of deception!
Err: Deceptinominon!
Ignignokt: Err-no, other way.
Err: Deceptinoitus!
Ignignokt: Turn this way.
Err: Oh.
Ignignokt: No, other way. Third--
Err: I know how to do it, come on man.
Master Shake: Hey, when we gonna fix my guacomole?
Ignignokt: Come on, hippies. We are the dope-men.
Err: Because we wear corderoy!

Master Shake: How do--How do I smoke this?
Ignignokt: Dude, it's so cool. Tell them Err.
Err: Okay man, see, see this bong? This is a bong and here's how you hit it!
Ignignokt: Lower the moon bong.
Err: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's moonajuana time.
Ignignokt: Then we shall stoke the flame...with moonajuana!
Meatwad: Dang. That looks like a big old tire.
Err: Moonajuana grows in the shape of a tire!
Ignignokt: Any dealer will tell you that.
Err: So burn! Burn the flame!

moonajuana3.mp3

Ignignokt: Stand by to revist the stone age.
Master Shake: Yeah, the STONED age.
Meatwad: Light it up, I'm goin' head first in this bitch.
Master Shake: Like hell you are! I'm the one riddled with diseases!
Meatwad: Well I need it too cause I got the disease.. and I need medication.
Master Shake: Okay!

Meatwad: Hey you guys wanns hit this?
Ignignokt: No thank you, that's a poisonous tire.
Master Shake: What?
Ignignokt: I mean, we're already very high.
Master Shake: (Coughing) This is great.. Whoa, I'm flying, man.
Meatwad: Yeah, (cough) That feels good.
Master Shake: Don't-Don't exhale so fast, cough, you gotta hold it in (cough) like the pros.
Meatwad: (Coughs) That's good. That's good stuff.
Master Shake: Oh come on man, you're wasting the TLC, the JCB. You know that's the chemical that unlocks the... Hey where's the carb on this thing?
Ignignokt: We don't know.
Err: It's up your butt, dude.
Master Shake: Oh here it is up my butt. (Shake reaches up his butt and pulls out his colon) Thanks-thanks guys.

moonajuana4.mp3

Meatwad: Hoo, boy! What is that? Your colon? Get that out of your mouth. That's gross! You don't know where that's been!
Master Shake: What?! I know-- I know exactly where it's been, man.
Meatwad: Hi! I'm high! Heheheh, you get it Shake? This is awesome.
Master Shake: You know what we need to do? We gotta get some instruments, take lessons, and learn to play them, and then we're gonna have the hottest jam of 'Comfortably Numb' that anyone has ever heard in their life!

Meatwad: Well we can jam, you can jam on me with that log. I won't feel nothin', go ahead and hit me with it.
Master Shake: Yeah! Listen to that beat!
Meatwad: Yeah that's it you're gettin it good. Turn that beat around. (Plays with Shake)
Ignignokt: This could go on for a very long time.
Master Shake: I'm beating meat. Hahahahah! Hey anybody hear my joke? Hhahaha! This is called Something to order a whole loaf of bread.
Meatwad: Hey you know what. Let's live forever.
Master Shake: Whoa.
Ignignokt: And now we burgle. (Break into the house) Can you grab the other end of- (Sees Frylock) Oh hey, man.
Frylock: Uh, you're gonna have to pay for that.
Ignignokt: It's cool.
Err: Yeah, it's cool.
Frylock: No, it isn't.
Ignignokt: Oh, it's not?
Err: We thought it was.
Frylock: No, you're gonna pay for that window or I'm calling the cops.
Ignignokt: Easy, brother, don't harsh my buzz.
Err: No man, don't do that.
Frylock: Operator, can I get the police, please?
Ignignokt: We'll leave you be fair brother.
Err: (Whispers) Okay, hand me that hose. (Hose comes through and fumes from the tire-bong start pouring in) Hehehehe. Ok start pushin it in. (Frylock twists the hose so it goes out the other end) I must be getting some backdraft or somethin' man.
Ignignokt: The red one sucks.

moonajuana5.mp3

Ignignokt: Fryman, we made you this.
Err: Check it out!
Ignignokt: It's a nature necklace.
Err: It's coated with urine!
Ignignokt: That we made drinking from a pure mountain stream.
Err: Organic!
Ignignokt: Brohair, let us put our differences aside and throw down mighty.
Frylock: Oh, like them?
Ignignokt: Oh they're just getting jiggy with it.

Ignignokt: We rule Hollywood.
Frylock: No thanks.
Ignignokt: Come on, man. Don't be a nerd.
Err: Come on, man, rock out with us, man, come on, I'm gonna roooooock!
Ignignokt: Outside, out here, in nature away from your possesions which are worth things.
Err: Rock and roll!
Frylock: Uh-huh. So that's your plan this time, right? Get me so high so you can take all my stuff.
Ignignokt: No, man. Where is the trust these days?

moonajuana6.mp3

Ignignokt: Fat man, do you desire the herb?
Carl: No, no, no. I'm not a druggie, I don't buy that stuff. ...I mean, I'll do it if somebody passes it to me or whatever. Like that time I saw Styx at the Garden! With that big Mister Roboto! Oh, man! I got so arrested..that night. Why you got some?
Ignignokt: No, but he has a lot of it.

Carl: Hey Fryman, what's goin on, man?
Frylock: Nothing.

Err: (Breaks into Carl's house) All of this is ours!
Ignignokt: I don't see anything I want, Err.
Err: Yeah, me neither.
Ignignokt: Burn it to the ground so others may not have it either.

moonajuana7.mp3

Carl: This dude back where I worked at the, uh, styrofoam peanut factory, like he converted the toilet into like a bong, and you just sort of put your face over the seat. It was pretty badass. I went in there, someone had used a Number Two, so I fish it out, load it up. Gotta do something to get through that shift. Later on, when I became an adult, I was thinkin', you know, "That's gross," but, man that bathroom was so awesome in high school.

Carl: So what is this a big hookah, or something?
Frylock: Sure, just put your head under that dome.
Carl: We're gonna get high tonight! Put in some Styxs, Paradise Theater, uh, no! Kilroy Was Here! Get the digital remastered version, though!
Frylock: You guys find what you needed?
Ignignokt: Yes, we did, thanks for asking.
Err: Come on man you sure you don't wanna hit that?
Carl: Any classic Styxs.
Frylock: I'm sure.
Carl: Or the Dennis De Young solo album, Desert Moon. You got that?
Ignignokt: Can we come in? Play with your things?
Frylock: No.
Ignignokt: Harsh.
Frylock: Why do you guys always come down here and mess with us? There's, like, fifty billion people on this planet.
Ignignokt: There are? Since when?
Frylock: Long time.
Ignignokt: How long?
Frylock: Very long.
Ignignokt: Why don't you invite us in and teach us? We didn't have fathers growing up.
Frylock: You didn't have a father?
Err: No.
Frylock: Wow, I mean, that's actually kind of sad.
Ignignokt: I never learned how to steal or fight or drink the right way.
Err: My dad left home when I was 3. Told my mom he couldn't take it, it meaning me and he was the alcoholic.
Ignignokt: Moonaholic.
Err: Whatever, I mean, dependant on moonahol. Then one day, man, my mom she drops me off at summer camp and she says "See ya later, forever!" and she just drives off. Ever since then I've just been depressed, everything I do is for attention. That's why I steal. I mean look at this, I stole this. What am I going to do with this? I just really, you know, I just miss my dad and I don't know where my mom went and, man, no one really wants me around, that's what makes me cry.
Frylock: Well if you want attention I could maybe, suggest you go to L.A. Try to be a movie star. It's easy to do.
Ignignokt: We know that.
Err: We've been there.
Ignignokt: And we will. (Leaves)

moonajuana8.mp3

Carl: (coughs) When does the get high part start?!

moonajuana9.mp3

Meatwad: Sssh, ssh. Here it comes. Here it comes. This is his scene.
Master Shake: That's not him at all!
Meatwad: That is totally him!
Master Shake: He was clean shaven, okay?
Meatwad: Oh, you just got lost in his character, here.

(Watching Err's Show)
Master Shake: Run, get outta there man!
Meatwad: Run. Run this guy is bad news.
Man: This where I go to kill them gay prostitutes?
Master Shake: Oh man don't say yes, don't say yes!
Meatwad: Don't do it, don't do it.
Err: Yes. (Man shoots everybody)
Master Shake: Damn it!
Meatwad: Dang!