Aqua Teen Adventures - Premiere Online Source for Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Episode 68 - Carl Wash

Click on the filename above the transcription to download the clip. Enjoy!

carlwash1.mp3

Meatwad: Hey, here's one. (reading) Looking for dollars? Are you gullible and stupid as hell? You may qualify to be part of our dangerous experiment. Bring your resume, wallet, social security, ATM and/or credit cards to Carl's Car Wash. Minorities need not apply, or we gonna sue your balls to the wall. (stops reading) That sounds promising.
Master Shake: That job is perfect for you!

carlwash2.mp3

Carl Brain: Show me your shapes!
Meatwad: Oh, I got a ton. Here, check this out. Hotdog, Igloo, Igloo, Hotdog, Igloo, Igloo, Igloo, Igloo.
Carl Brain: Those are not enough shapes! No one will wash their car here because of you!

carlwash3.mp3

Frylock: You know what? I gotta go take a dump.

carlwash4.mp3

Meatwad: (rings doorbell)
Carl: What do you want?
Master Shake: Get your car washed.
Meatwad: Get your car washed. Uh, uh. Get your car washed. Uh, uh.
Master Shake: Or you're a dumbass. Gonna get your ass whooped.
Meatwad: Or you a dumbass. Gonna get your ass whooped.
Master Shake: Right here and now.
Meatwad: Right here and now.
Master Shake: Really emphasize the now. I mean, your, your mad with this guy.
Meatwad: Right here and now, boy!
Master Shake: Now shove him, physically.
Carl: Nah, that's not necessary. Very thoughful though, but uh, ya know, up yours.

carlwash5.mp3

Meatwad: When we do the interior we like to enhance it with an aroma. Do you have a favorite aroma you would like to pick? We'd love to facilitate that.
Carl: You got uh, you got Pina Colada?
Meatwad: No, I'm afraid not, sir.
Carl: No Pina Colada? Ok, uh, how about, uh... strawberry boobs?
Meatwad: Nah, we ain't got that either. What we do have is athletes foot, bloated beach cod, and stank breath.
Carl: Go through the list again.

carlwash6.mp3

Meatwad: This is the first part of our patented three-step treatment.
Carl: Yeah, that kinda looks like your sorta slingin' dirt on it.
Meatwad: What it actually is is dumpster juice, which is sorta like a combination of rain water and garbage. Very acidic. Very harsh on the paint job.
Carl: And why are we doing this again?
Meatwad: It's just a pre-coat. I mean obviously we need to prep the outer-coat for, you know, the cat urine.

carlwash7.mp3

Carl Brain: Hello Carl. I too, am Carl. And this is my son, Carl Jr. We are all Carl.
Carl: Neat.
Carl Brain: Yes, neat. Remove his brain!

carlwash8.mp3

Master Shake: You know, Snakes, in the wild of course, have to unhinge their jaw to eat a car. I think the trouble with you is that you have all that skin around your mouth. (hands Carl a knife)
Frylock: Shake?!

carlwash9.mp3

Frylock: Carl?
Carl: Carl?
Frylock: Carl?
Carl: Carl?
Frylock: Oh no!
Carl: Oh no!
Frylock: Someone's taken Carl's brain!
Carl: Someone's taken Carl's brain!
Meatwad: That is what I've been trying to tell you.
Frylock: Really? Well you haven't been very specific about it!
Meatwad: I know! I haven't!

carlwash10.mp3

Carl Brain: Brain slave, report to brain quarters. Brain slave, kindly report to brain quarters. Brain Slave!

carlwash11.mp3

Frylock: Where's Carl's Brain?
Carl Brain: I am Carl Brain.
Frylock: No, Carl's brain.
Carl Brain: I am Carl Brain.
Frylock: No, no, no, no, no diferent...different Carl, okay?
Carl Brain: I am Carl Brain.
Frylock: My friend Carl, his brain!
Carl Brain: Behind you!